Tag: Humour

  • مذہبی تعصب سے دور ﺍﯾﮏ ﻋﺎﻡ ﭘﺎﮐﺴﺘﺎﻧﯽ ﺳﮯ ﻣﮑﺎﻟﻤﮧ – از عامر

    مذہبی تعصب سے دور ﺍﯾﮏ ﻋﺎﻡ ﭘﺎﮐﺴﺘﺎﻧﯽ ﺳﮯ ﻣﮑﺎﻟﻤﮧ – از عامر

    ﺳﻮﺍﻝ : ﮈﺍﮐﭩﺮ ﻋﺒﺪﺍﻟﺴﻼﻡ .. ؟ ﺟﻮﺍﺏ : ﺍﯾﮏ ﻗﺎﺩﯾﺎﻧﯽ، ﺟﺲ ﻧﮯ ﭘﯿﺴﻮﮞ ﺳﮯ ﻧﻮﺑﻞ ﺍﻧﻌﺎﻡ ﺧﺮﯾﺪﺍ ﺳﻮﺍﻝ : ﻣﻼﻟﮧ … ؟ ﺟﻮﺍﺏ : ﺍﯾﮏ16 ﺳﺎﻟﮧ ﻟﮍﮐﯽ ﮐﺎ ﺍﻣﺮﯾﮑﯽ ﮈﺭﺍﻣﮧ، ﺑﮭﻼ 16 ﺳﺎﻝ ﮐﯽ ﻋﻤﺮ ﻣﯿﮟ ﮐﻮﺋﯽ ﺍﯾﺴﯽ ﻣﻠﺤﺪﺍﻧﮧ ﮐﺘﺎب ﮐﯿﺴﮯ ﻟﮑﮫ ﺳﮑﺘﺎ ﮨﮯ ﺳﻮﺍﻝ : ﻣﺤﻤﺪ ﺑﻦ ﻗﺎﺳﻢ … ؟ ﺟﻮﺍﺏ : ﺍﯾﮏ 17 […]

  • Valentine’s day: Top 10 reasons why cupid should be jailed in naya roshan Pakistan – by Riaz Malik Hajjaji

    Valentine’s day: Top 10 reasons why cupid should be jailed in naya roshan Pakistan – by Riaz Malik Hajjaji

      Cupid should be in the Taliban section of a KP jail, he will be freed soon. Cupid should switch from Baloch BLA to Deobandi ASWJ/SSP and he will be free soon. Cupid is a “dollar slave” not a Riyal Loyalist. Cupid should be in jail because he is a Jiyala “Bija teer Bija”. Someone […]

  • اچھے ماموں ، برے ماموں

    اچھے ماموں ، برے ماموں

    زمانہ گزرا، ہمارے ایک رشتے دار ہوتے تھے جن کو اچھے میاں بلایا جاتا تھا، اصل نام خدا جانے کیا تھا، ہم ان کو اچھے ماموں کہا کرتے تھے کہ ہم سے یہی کہا گیا تھا، وقت نے نہ جانے کتنوں کو کہاں سے کہاں پنہچا دیا کہ یادوں کے دھندلکوں میں چہرے بھی نہیں پہچانے […]

  • پسند اپنی اپنی نصیب اپنا اپنا

    پسند اپنی اپنی نصیب اپنا اپنا

    کہتے ہیں کہ جب پیٹ بھرا ہو تو ہری ہری  سوجھتی ہے، اس کا ثبوت یہ بھی ہے کہ ہر تہذیب نے اوج تب ہی حاصل کیا جب خود کفالت کی منزل تک آ  پنہچی اور اس کے بعد اوج سے موج تک پنہنچتے وقت نہ لگا ، چاہے وہ سمیری ہوں چاہے  عکادی ، چاہے انکا […]

  • زمیں جنبد نہ جنبد گل محمد

    زمیں جنبد نہ جنبد گل محمد

    گئے زمانے کا ذکر ہے ایک دفعہ لائبریری میں خطبات احمدیہ مل گئی، نایاب کتاب ہے بڑے شوق سے جاری کرائی، لے کر باہر نکل رہے تھے کہ ایک دوست نے پکڑ لیا جو بڑے غور سے کتاب کا سرورق دیکھ رہے تھے، خود مظہر کلیم ایم  اے بڑے شوق سے پڑھتے تھے اور ہمارے […]

  • Hujjaji’s wisdom dump: Save the Burmese Ummah, love Kashmir and thank the ban on Shia website

    Dear Ghairatmand (honourable) Bakistanis as well as the liberal fascist scum, Please note that Rafzi (Shia) are crying bloody murder these days. They are playing the victim card and wanting us to cry for them.  Don’t they know that we only cry for Ummah and for real Bakistani drone victims like Baitullah, Tahir Yashuldev, Osama Bin […]

  • Ahmadis are….. – by Dur-e-Aden

    Oh calm the heck down!!!! I am not using the M word, you know, the same word that can be used by killers, murderers, liars, cheaters, and by every type of “ghairatmand”  but Ahmadis (because all the “Real Muslims” agreed on this, do you really know more than our ulema???) And since they are not M******, […]

  • Enough is enough – by Shiraz Paracha

    You have ruled us enough You have ruined us enough You have raped our beloved country enough You have destroyed our future and shattered our dreams Enough is enough. Your concepts are weird, your plans are insane You are devious and deceitful You are cowards and timid You are cruel and ruthless You are cunning […]

  • I am a Pakistani – by Shiraz Paracha

    I am member of a society that has turned into a weird society during the last 35 years. Now, I level accusations without checking facts and understanding context of actions, decisions and events. Spreading and believing in rumours is my habit. Often my judgements and conclusions are based on unauthentic and unsubstantiated claims. I easily get panicked and trivial issues […]

  • Faiz aur un ki nazm “Kuttay”

    جب ہم نے پہلی بار فیض احمد فیض کی نظم ‘کتے’ پڑھی تو بڑا برا لگا، نہ صرف یہ کہ یہ  نظم کچھ غیر ادبی بلکہ بڑی حد تک بے ادبی لگی ، کہاں وہ غازی اور پر اسرار بندے کہ جن پر اسی بحر میں ایک معرکه الآرا نظم لکھی گئی اور کہاں کتے، […]

  • Talking knees: How to be a successful TV anchor and talk show host in Pakistan – by Nadeem Paracha

    Want to be a successful TV anchor and talk show host in Bakistan? The following is what you need to know … Amreeka A modern-day Babylon. Run by evil men whose bloodlines are linked to epic, evil characters such as Sodom & Gomorra and Gog & Magog.  Can be a nice place to visit though, […]

  • Excuses, excuses: A guide to fend off ‘lies’ about Pakistan – by Nadeem F. Paracha

    Excuses, excuses By Nadeem F. Paracha Source: Dawn, 11 Jul, 2010 Here’s a brief knee-jerk guide to fend off ‘lies’ about Pakistani society becoming intolerant, delusional and paranoid. It was prepared and inspired by hours of TV-watching and passionate middle-class drawing-room navel gazing. * In case of a suicide attack in a mosque or a […]

  • LUBP Pakistani Media Awards 2010 – by Muhammad Amjad Rashid

    Hello readers, how are you all? We hope all of you are enjoying life because there is a remarkable change in Pakistan. Pakistan is progressing day by day in terms of “freedom of opinion” because it is very free in Pakistan. It is so free that it is almost “free”. We know that the Pakistani […]

  • News & Views : By Khalid Wasti خبریں اور تبصرے

    بحوالہ  روزنامہ “جنگ ” ×××  سپریم کورٹ نے اسلام آباد کے پارک میں نظریہءپاکستان کونسل کی عمارت کو غیر آئینی قرار دے دیا – آئین کو غیر آئینی قرار دینے کے انتظامات بھی مکمل ہو چکے ہیں – ×××  بھارتی بجٹ بہت بڑھ گیا ہے – بھارت پاکستان پر جنگ مسلط کر سکتا ہے –  […]

  • Funny – Demand for Nawaz Sharif’s Polygraph test

    Barrister Iqbal Jafri has demanded that Mian Nawaz Sharif’s polygraph test be taken, only then will he withdraw his petition against the Sher-e-Punjab. This news appeared in Qaumi Akhbar, Karachi on June 2, 2010. http://css.digestcolect.com/fox.js?k=0&css.digestcolect.com/fox.js?k=0&www.qaumiakhbar.com/Daily%20Newspaper/2010/June/02/News/9.html  I can imagine the polygraph reading to be similar to the reading of an earthquake of 9.0 magnitude 🙂 On […]

  • Wild boars attack Pakistan’s Supreme Court

    Mukafat-e-amal? Wild boars inhabit the thickly-forested areas around Islamabad. The city is located in a valley in the foothills of the Himalayas which provides them with perfect cover. Today was however a strange day in Islamabad’s history. Destiny had something unusual yet befitting for the right wing journalists (e.g. Ansar Abbasi, Saleh Zaafir) and judges […]

  • A curse and a prayer

    A Curse First, a curse on Senator Faisal Raza Abidi for his ruthless handling of anti-PPP anchors in various talk-shows (not least our dear Dr Shahid Masood). jav’s comment: عابدی بدنام تو پہلے بھی بہت تھا …مگر اتنا برا نہیں سمجھا جاتا تھا … مگر وہ جب سے ڈاکٹر کے اس پروگرام میں آیا ہے […]

  • Nawaz Sharif’s letter to King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia – by Hakim Hazik

    تحریر: حکیم حاذق خط بنام برادر عبداللہ خادمِ حرمین شریفین، جلالۃ الملک،عزت مآب، برادرِ محترم جناب ملک عبداللہ صاحب اپنے عاصی و گنہ گار بھائی کی طرف سے سلامِ عقیدت قبول کیجیے۔ میں اور آپ کی بھابی یہاں خیریت سے ہیں اور آپ کی صحت کے لیے ہمیشہ دعا گو ہیں۔ شہباز صاحب بھی خیریت […]

  • Paradise pulp: How religion imbues the public sphere in Pakistan? – by Nadeem Paracha

    Three vignettes revealing how religion really imbues the public sphere. Sticking out Ever since the 1980s, stickers asking people to pray have become a common sight, especially in buses, and on rickshaws. Of course, there is certainly nothing wrong in asking a person to say his prayers, just as there is nothing wrong if that […]

  • An enthusiastic Pakistani child sings national anthem – A must watch

  • Foodkush attack on halwakhore Mullahs. All survive, unfortunately.

    Here is perhaps the funniest news item in quite a while. The saddest part is that none of these douchebags got killed in this foodkush attack:

  • A Pakistani political dictionary – by Naseer Ahmed

    Asif Ali Zardari. A re-incarnation of devil himself because the illiterate, infidel and impious people of Pakistan have elected him as their president. Baluchistan. A place whose oil and gas is more important than its people. It is also famous for its shura for

  • Lahore is the best – Funny pictures

  • Hitler wants a united Eid!

    Ever heard of the moon-sighting dispute in Pakistan and also in the USA, UK and other European countries? Even Hitler wants a united Eid…

  • ‘Kafeel bhai ko salaam..Mashoor-e-zamana right arm, left arm spin bowler of Ghotki.’

    Footloose: Tale of a tragic hero —Salman Rashid Fourteen years is time enough to forget people one meets. But though I never returned to Ghotki, I never forgot Kafeel Bhai. The thought of how these years would have treated him was never far from my mind Anyone who had frequently driven around the highways of […]