Disclaimer: Dear friends, This is political satire. Hopefully all of us are mature enough to handle it. It is like Saturday Night Live, locally on Geo TV, we have “Hum sum umeed sey hain.”. It is along those lines. Please do not get offended. It is not meant to be disparaging. It is about realizing things that are awfully serious, but laced in comedy and satire. Often straight forward and hard facts tend to register in this manner. So kindly accept my apologies in advance for this and the content in Roman Urdu as I do not have Urdu fonts in my Blackberry. Humble regards. D.Asghar

Qalam Dukaan
Jamid peer key situm sey

Hairaan Khaan Ka Doosra Dharna

Mulk Khakistan jiss ka surmaya merey khakhi bhai hain, unn main sirf aik hi nur paida hua hai, jiss ka naam hai Hairaan Khan. Iss pyarey mulk ko deemak ki tarah chhatney waley siyasatdaanon main sirf aik hi hai jo khak aur khaki ko sahi tarah samajh sukta hai.

Log chahey kuch bhi kahain, magar Aaj bhi Hairaan Khan jahan jaata hai aik jumm e ghafeer jauq dur jauq uss ki awaaz pay “hello aur hi” kehta hai. Aap ko yaad ho ga keh jub mulk Ghamreeka ney apney draownay humley shru kiyey to aik Hairaan hi tha jo Baatabaad main lalkara tha. Tamam mohibbey watan Khakistani uss key saath they. Woh tamam jamaatain jin ka naam “jamaat” ya “Lashkar” sey shuru hota tha, woh uss roz uss key shana ba shana theen. Drownaey humley ruk gayey, zameen dehel gayee. (O yaar likhney main kya hurj hai)

Ab ussi Hairan Khan ney Cadetabad main honey waley mulk Ghamreeka key nayay humley per doosrey dharney ki kaal di hai. Jauq dur jauq mohibbey watan Khakistani chaley aayey hain. Unn ka kehna hai keh yeh sub hukumat ki na ehli ki wajeh sey hua. Unn key saath janab Baid
Bazid bhi they, jinhon ney islam key mushhoor super hero “La Deen” ko khiraaj e tehseen paish kiya. Unhon ney kaha key La deen key lahu sey aik nayi tareekh likhi jayey gee. Aur Janab Harib Shahdeed ney waheen qasam khai keh woh Ghumreeka ko ghumnaak ker dain gey. Waghaira Waghira.

Merey saath merey saathi Dr. Naqis Beymaqsood bhi they. Unn key program “Meri Mughalit” main main kayi baar bataur e mubassir shareek
hua hoon. Dr. Sahib ney bhi tamam mujahideen ki hausla afzai ki aur khakhi wardi ko salaam paish kiya. Iss wardi ki wajeh sey bauhton ka bhala hua hai. Mulk Khakistan ki sur zameen ney bohat barey barey jarri jurnail paida kiyey hain. Aur alam e Islaam key naamwer jurnail Bin LaDeen they. Jo mulk Khakistan ka sub sey bara surmaya they. (Main unn ka interview karney ka sharaf rakhta hoon.) Jin ki wajah sey Naan aur Chapli Kabab chal rahey they. Unn key jaaney key baad ab Daal roti khuch bhi bhali naheen lagti.

Jub Hairaan Khan stage per tashreef layey to ghaziyon, mujahidon aur
sipahiyon ney naarey laga laga ker unn ka khair maqdam kiya.

“Ker ley Ghumreeka ab jo bhi hai karna
Ho ga dharna ho ga dharna ho ga dharna”

Kayyion ney apni daarhiyan unn key rastey main bicha deen. Mujhey afsos hua pehli baar clean shaven honey ka. Hairaan lulkaara,

” Dekhain ji mujhey Ghamreeka sey chir si ho gayee hai. Jab sey aik ghamreeki aurat ney mujh per dawa kiya hai, main ney bhi thaan li hai keh main apni awaz uthaoon ga. Behter hota keh main bat uthaata, chalin koyi naheen. Janab hum sub kasam khatey hain key apni ghulailon
sey Cadetabad aaney waley helicopteron aur chopperon ko pathar maar maar ker tabah ker dain gey. Hum apney naaron sey ghus baithiyon ko bhaga dain gey. Hamara dharna ab hamarey leader La Deen key ghar key rastey per rahey ga.”

Aik ghair mulki reporter nay jab yeh poocha keh ab kya farak parta hai, Ladeen to gayey, to hum sub ney uss ki khoob thukai ki. Uss ki majal keh hum ko batayey keh kya karna hai. Hamari izzat aur ghairat hamari khak, mera mutlab khakhi hai. Phir Hairaan Khan ki lalkaar per sub apni apni ghulaylain lay ker aik doosrey per practice karney lagaey.

Iss sey pehley keh meri aankh jaati, Dr. Bey maqsood mujh ko ley ker yeh ja woh ja huey. Aakhir unn key prograam ki recording thi. Mujhey wahan per aik mubassir key taur per doosray dharney key “kumments” dainey they. Ab mujh ko ijazat. Agley kaalum “Chillum Dukaan” tak.

Khakistan Paindabad.

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