A Tale of Nine Wives! the OBL Abbotabad Commission Report – by Shoaib Mir

BIN LADENI strongly recommend that the 337-page (including the missing #197) Abbottabad Commission Report should be included in our relevant curriculum, appropriately titled: “A Tale of Nine Wives!” For the record, they are 3 of Osama, 2 of the Kuwaiti Brothers and 4 of the Establishment – namely Khairiyya, Sharifa, Amal, Maryam, Bushra, Javed Iqbal, Abbas Khan, Ashraf Qazi and Nadeem Ahmed respectively.

The one positive lesson this educational reform may instill in our future generations will be How to Not Write A Fact-Finding Report. (Or how to successfully elude a 4-point mandate; how to not answer the 46 questions set by a commission itself, or how to not fix responsibility.)

But still arrive at a divine conclusion: “It is unnecessary to specifically name them because it is obvious who they are… It will be for the people of Pakistan in the forthcoming elections to pass collective political judgment on them.” Inna lillahe wa inna ilaihe raje’oon.

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