The Invasion – by Waseem Altaf



I suddenly woke up at five in the morning when I heard the mullah shrieking from a nearby mosque on the loud speakers. Before he could finish off, another one opened his mouth and began reciting the “invitation” in Arabic. This continued for forty minutes from various mosques in different tones and styles.
Anyway, after the onslaught was over, I tried to sleep again but I could not. At seven, I put on my joggers and went to a nearby park for the morning walk. I saw many carrying rosaries while jogging. A man was reciting a small size Quran while walking briskly.

At 7:45.I came back and while I was having a glass of lemon water, a cousin of mine, on a visit, interrupted me. “Water should be drunk while sitting and in three breaths, that is the Islamic way,” he advised.
On my way to office, I stopped at the hospital to collect a medical report. After the radiologist delivered it to me, he said he had something additional for me. Then he opened the drawer and picked up some booklets titled “The miracles of Islam”, “This gift is for you, keep one and distribute the rest.” He suggested.
I left the hospital and reached office. My PA, with a white cap on his head was reading a book titled “Tohfat-us-salat” by one Maulana Al-haj Hafiz Mohammad Inayatullah Nuxbandi Mujaddadi Noori.

While I was going through the files, the peon entered the room and placed his 5-day leave application in front of me. I asked the reason and he informed that since he was in the “Deobandi Tableeghi Jamaat” he had to go to South Punjab for “tableegh.”
Since we had a break for the afternoon prayers from one till two, almost the entire staff headed towards the washrooms. And then I could hear obnoxious sounds originating from individual throats. Continuous spitting and feet inside washbasins for cleansing during ablution was nauseating.
On my way, I found the road blocked as a procession by the Anjuman-e-Ghulaman-e-Ahle-Bait was coming from the opposite side. I took a turn and while approaching my place from another direction I found the traffic being diverted as another procession by Sunni Tehreek was coming on the main road, demanding the release of Mumtaz Qadri, the murderer of Salman Taseer.

I reached home at six. After a belated lunch, while I was taking a nap, somebody rang the bell at the door. Outside, I found four bearded molvis who told me that they had come from a nearby mosque and were there to invite me for an “enlightening” session after the evening prayers which I politely regretted.
As I switched on the television, I found Amir Liaqat Hussain dilating on those “cursed” women and the treatment meted out to them on the day of judgment whose husbands get hot but they don’t get horny.
On another channel, Molvi Munnawar was sharply criticizing dogs and how the presence of these creatures in homes prevents some noble angels to enter into the premises. On another, Zakir Naik was harshly condemning pigs- and why they should be detested.
I then switched over to a news channel. A female polio worker was shot dead in Bannu while Hindu temples were attacked in Hyderabad, Larkana and Badin by Deobandis. In other news, it was reported that the national assembly held a debate whether YouTube should be unblocked or not.
Somebody in my street had arranged a “Mehfil-e-Naat” which continued for the whole night. My daughter who had to appear for an exam the following morning could not focus due to constant noise. My wife who was not feeling well could not sleep.
At around 5 AM in deep sleep, I suddenly woke as a shrill sound emanated from speakers from a nearby mosque.
I knew it was just the beginning while variants of similar rumbles from all directions were to follow for the next forty minutes!



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