Enlightened Moderation, Part 2 – by Hakim Hazik

It is great to see the best and the brightest in Pakistan assembled for this historic occasion. I welcome Mr Sher Afgan Niazi, the foremost public intellectual of the Eastern hemisphere; Dr Naseem Ashraf, physician, philosopher and toad eater par excellence; Naeem Bukhari, a leading light in law and scholarly letter writing and last but not the least, PJ Mir, who does not let his intelligence interfere with his patriotism.

Regrettably, my brother and partner in nation building, Shaukat Aziz cannot be here tonight, as he is working on a new passport, so that he can become the prime minister of the Islamic Republic of Congo. Brother Mohammad Ali Durrani sends his apologies, as he has been appointed the Shoeshine Officer in Chief to Brother Field Marshal Kayani.

I also welcome my friends in Islamabad and Karachi, especially Nizam Sons Tent Makers who have provided the marquees for the audience and indeed, the audience, for this historic occasion. Your efforts in nation building will be remembered by the future generations. Your company will be at the vanguard of the coming revolution that will sweep Pakistan.

We believe in justice, equality and the rule of law. We believe in enlightened moderation. We believe in emancipation of women. We believe in putting Pakistan first.

You have only to look at our period in the government to see how well we achieved our goals. We welcomed Daniel Pearl and gave him a great opportunity to advance his career in this world and the hereafter, ably assisted by Brig. Ijaz. We provided Dr Shazia Khalid every opportunity for easy and unfettered international travel. We rooted out radicalism and extremism from the Supreme Court. We covered the Lal Masjid in the eye catching fluorescent glow of white phosphorus.

We believe in the empowerment of the masses. We established the National Reconstruction Bureau, so that the power can be de-centralised and transferred to the people. You will notice that in large parts of Pakistan, people have been empowered and the government officials have withdrawn, apart from those who have been beheaded. FATA, Baluchistan, South of Punjab and Karachi are some such areas. Very soon, Inshallah, Lahore and Islamabad will be handed over to the people as well.

We achieved a growth rate of more than 6 per cent. This was not achieved overnight. It required planning, forethought and vision. Because of our incessant endeavours, international markets were opened to our exports. A veritable bonanza was offered to us in shape of Guantanamo Bay, where our exports of young men imported from the middle east and re-exported after value addition, found much favour. The sale of Dr Afia to the rapturous East Coast market was one such feat.

Pakistan has huge commercial potential. Business opportunities are awaiting us across the world, including Saudi Arabia, Uzbekistan, Chechnya and China, who want their nationals re-exported but will accept Pakistani nationals as well, to be employed in their rapidly growing prison and enhanced interrogation industry.

We achieved a lot in our 9 years in power, though much remains to be done with your co-operation.

You ain’t  seen nothing yet.

General (Retd.) Tinpot Bahadur

All Pakistan Muslim League

Source: Hakim Hazik blog



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