Here is another column in remembrance of an army officer killed by Taliban:

Remembering a life lost

Saturday, December 12, 2009
Irum Rauf

Sitting here in the solitude of my room, on a cold night in Finland, I can’t help but recall Uncle Shoaib, a wise, well-educated, aware and intelligent person with a great sense of humour. In fact, he was not an individual, he was very much a part of our lives. His death in the suicide blast in the Rawalpindi mosque has left a vacuum in our lives, like the death of a very close family member leaves. Such was his personality.

Major (r) Shoaib Khan was the father of my dear friend, Lozina. But he was just not a person I knew through our friend. His personality had such charisma and influence that every person who met him would share the same feelings that I have.

The heartless, insane terrorists don’t realise that it isn’t just those who die lose their lives. The families of the victims are scarred and shattered for life. I just can’t comprehend such cruelty. My mind fails to come to terms with the idea of suicide bombers brainstorming over an imminent crime, nor with the rage, driven by conspiracy theories, that results in suicide attacks. We are losing our loved ones and our cities are burning, and there can be no explanation for the insane causes of this.

There is no doubt that he was a great asset to our country. Many will write about his professional accomplishments. But this impression of his that I am sharing is that of a fine human being. For me, his greatest attainment in life is his extraordinary daughter, whose courage is exemplary.

Lozina was born with many disabilities and doctors had given her very little chance of survival. Miracles do happen, however, and she did survive, to become a source of strength for others and an asset for the country. She suffered, and is still suffering from many physical challenges, like multiple congenital contractures (MCC), osteoporosis, rheumatic arthritis and cardiac problems. Until now she has undergone 20 major surgeries, including spinal fusion, and more are coming up. The family provided her with the best in life in everything, no matter what the circumstances, and with their best efforts made her not only successful in life but also inspiration for others.

Lozina Shoaib, now doing her PhD, received a National Youth Award last year from the prime minister. She has been appointed assistant director in the Ministry of Social Welfare and Special Education.

With her own radio show, she inspires many people. She is actively participating in social activities and running NGOs. On International Women’s Day in 2008 she was named one of the most inspiring women of Pakistan, through a survey carried out by two extremely reputable organisations. She is creating awareness on the inclusive system in the general public, through talk shows and interviews, to induce self-confidence in people with disabilities. She often gives motivational lectures to students in schools, colleges and universities.

To return to the family, in their togetherness in adversity, Lozina and her parents had become each other’s best friends. A close-knit family, they were loved by all, because of the love they showered upon others. In spite of all the pain and hardships they endured, one could always find laughter in their home. Uncle Shoaib was a pillar of strength for the family. He had immense love and affection for his talented and courageous daughter, which shone in his eyes every time he looked at her.

I have fond memories of travelling by car with Uncle. I remember the trip to Murree that our group had where my friends in his car. We laughed our heads off at Uncle’s jokes.

The terrorists killed a fine Muslim. I remember him as an extremely pious man, never missing a single prayer. When I went to see him and Aunty the night before my flight to Finland, he was not home and had gone for prayers. The moment he came back home, he gave me his blessings and prayers.

I often sat back and marvelled at the strength and courage of the family in dealing with the hardships of life with smiles on their faces and love in their eyes. The fact that Uncle is no longer with us in this physical world has shaken us all. I remember Uncle’s smiling face, his joke-telling, his affection and courtesy and his love for Lozina.

The death of Uncle Shoaib is a loss beyond words, and I cannot describe how deeply we mourn his passing away in that mad bombing. In Lozina we find Uncle Shoaib’s message of inspiration and of the need to move on in life, no matter what the adversity. People like him should not remain unsung heroes of our nation. His life is an inspiration for us because in him we find a true patriot, a great Muslim and a gem of a person we are never to forget.

My heart goes out to Aunty and Lozina. As one of the friends said to them: “We have always marvelled at your courage and strength so we pray to Allah to give you patience and courage to go through this very hard time. You are all always remembered in our prayers and we are all always here for you. The loss is irreplaceable as we have lost someone who is our loved one too.”

A fine person like Uncle Shoaib will live forever — especially the way he brought up his daughter — and be blessed in Heaven. He died as a martyr while offering prayers, and our faith tells us that martyrs live forever. It is this faith that helps us survive in difficult times. May Allah bless him with the highest place in Heaven and May Allah give the family patience and courage to bear the pain. Thinking of what Aunty and Lozina must be going through sends a shiver down my spine, especially since neither of them is in good health.

May Allah bring peace to our country.

The writer is pursuing her PhD in software engineering in Finland. Email: irauf @abo.fi

http://thenews.com.pk/daily_detail.asp?id=212908