A report in today’s issue of the Express Tribune [March 29, 2012, page 3] reads, in part, as follows:
“When students appearing for the compulsory Urdu paper in Lahore on Wednesday morning turned to the multiple-choice section, they were in for some surprises. One question asked: Who is responsible for Pakistan’s security? Options were: God, [President] Zardari, [PM] Gilani or the People. Another, trickier question asked what our system of life is based on. Options included: Deen (religion), duniya (the world), doulat (wealth) or [President] Zardari.”
Divine or Dumb? Or just plain sick. You can have your pick.
Yes, you have read it correctly. The intellectual who set this gem of a paper must be in possession of 206 funny bones instead of just one. So thanks to him, he gave only four choices.
One wouldn’t like to guess whether the students knew the right answer and how or by what logic the examiner would decide which of the four choices is the right one. But one would certainly venture to frame a new set of questions that may throw some light on the mindset working behind these questions and that has been nurtured ever since the rule of a former sipah salar e azam whose denture is purportedly buried in the hallowed F/7-2 area of the Islamic Republic’s capital. So here goes:
- What is the reason for the population explosion in Pakistan?
God’s will – Mother-in-law’s will – Wife’s will – President Zardari’s will
- Which scientific theory is most likely the reason for the creation of our universe?
Bigg Boss theory – Bang Bang theory – Boom Boom theory – Good God theory
- Who are/is responsible for most of the conspiracies against Pakistan?
Jews – Hindus – Christians – President Zardari
- Which political party was responsible for the creation of Pakistan?
Muslim League (Nawaz) – Muslim League (Q) – Muslim League (Functional) – Jamaat e Islami
- Who was responsible for the first Martial Law in Pakistan?
Lord Mountbatten – Gen Gracey – Gen Akbar – Zulfikar Ali Bhutto
- Who was the real architect of Pakistan’s atomic power?
Ghulam Ishaq Khan – Dr A. Q. Khan – S. M. Zafar – Nawaz Sharif
- Who was responsible for the death of Osama bin Laden?
Mansoor Ijaz – Hussain Haqqani – President Ahmedinijad – President Zardari
- Who will most likely hold aloft the Pakistan flag in the upcoming Ghazwa e Hind?
Zaid Hamid – Hameed Gul – Imran Khan – Hafiz Saeed
- Who is the most patriotic section of people in Pakistan?
Jarnail – Judge – Journalists – Jagirdaar
- Who should be stoned to death as a test case in the Taliban-ruled Pakistan?
Asma Jahangir – Marvi Sirmed – Fauzia Wahab – Veena Malik
- Why is Pervez Musharraf not coming back to Pakistan – is he afraid of?
Shireen Mazari – Marvi Memon – Kashmala Tariq – Tehmina Durrani
- Who was responsible for the judicial murder of Zulfikar Ali Bhutto?
Justice Dorab Patel – Justice Samdani – Justice Haleem – Yahya Bakhtiyar
- Which political has always been the establishment favourite?
PML (N) – MQM – PTI – PPP
- Who signed the Document of Surrender at Dhaka on 17 Dec 1971?
Gen Tikka Khan – Naseerullah Babar – Benazir Bhutto – President Zardari
- How would you describe the “technological” advancement in a Shariah-ruled Pakistan?
Inshallah – Jazakallah – Mashallah – Subhanallah
Video: MCQs: Zardari, Gilani as answer option in class 9 exam
A class 9 Urdu paper featured two questions in the multiple choice question section, which featured President Zardari and Prime Minister Gilani amongst the answer options. The questions and their answer options were:
1) What is the system of life based on? Religion, world, money and Zardari sahib.
2) Who is responsible for Pakistan’s security? Allah, Zardari sahib, Gilani sahib or Awaam (public).