Pakistan doesn’t respect women – by Dr Shazia Nawaz


The Author

The other day, I came across a video on YouTube. It showed the Punjab Assembly’s proceedings of June 20, 2012. In that clip, Chaudhry Allauddin, a member of the PML-Q, while having a heated argument on the provincial budget, called the women of the opposition “dancing girls from the well of death” of a circus and added, “We know what kind of women you are. We know your past.” And of course, a bearded lawmaker sitting next to him kept clapping and cheering hearing those remarks and could not control his joy.

This whole thing reminded me of an argument that I once had with a journalist. He did not like my statement that women were respected more in the west. He very angrily claimed that women, especially as they age, are respected more in Pakistan. And he, of course, mentioned how his mother, grandmother and sisters are the most respected members of the family. And I said to him, “While you respect your mother and sisters, the guy standing on the corner of your street have no respect for them and he teases them when they go out.”

And this is exactly what it is. Pakistan does not teach us to respect humans in general and women in particular. Women are teased and harassed on the streets. In fact, most of us Pakistanis don’t even know what respecting a woman really means.

Using this example above of Choudhry Alludin, it is not just that he should not have called women in the Assembly “the dancing girls,” but when you truly respect women in a society, dancing girls are respected as well. You do not yell at them, “hey, you are a dancing girl.” Why does dancing girls have to be looked down upon? And even if you look down on them, who gives you the right to insult them? Who says you are better or deserve more respect? Respecting women in a society does not mean just respecting your own, or respecting women who are lawyers, doctors, or politicians.

All women have to be respected. Women walking on the streets need to be respected even if they are not related to you. Dancing girls, students, sales girls, social workers, and even prostitutes need to be respected. No matter how many layers of clothes a woman hides herself in, she still can not walk on the streets of Pakistan with out her male chaperones. Women are teased, groped, touched, and yelled at on the streets of Pakistan. In the west, a woman can wear shorts, skirts, dresses or whatever she wants to wear, and men don’t feel that her clothes give them a right to hurl an insult at her or call her a slut or a dancing girl. That my friend is respecting your women! You do not put conditions on women: you would be only respected if you wore hijab, or Niqab, or dupatta, or walked this way or that way. You cannot tell them that they have to be only teachers or doctors to deserve respect. You can not make respect conditional.

Every woman who gets a chance to live in the west can feel the clear difference, unfortunately many can not put it in words. Many who are enjoying their freedom in the west, can not comprehend why they like it so much better in the west. Our women have to be educated first before we could educate our men on how to respect a woman. Sadly, in Punjab Assembly, the women who were called the dancing girls, did not get support from the women of PML-Q. It’s culture. A lot of times women are happy when another woman is insulted, and show little unity. And then the day comes when it’s their own turn to be called whores. If Pakistani men are ever going to respect Pakistani women, Pakistani women have to respect each other first.

کیا پاکستان میں عورت کی عزت کی جاتی ہے؟

کچھ دن پہلے میں یو ٹیوب پر ویڈیو دیکھ رہی تھی اور مجھے پنجاب اسمبلی کا ویڈیو دیکھنے کا اتفاق ہوا . ویڈیو میں اسمبلی کے اراکین بجٹ پر بحث کر رہے تھے کہ اپس میں جھگڑا شرو ہو گیا. چودہرے علاؤ دین جو کے مسلم لیگی نوں کے ممبر ہیں ایک دم بوھت طش میں آ گیے. کسی خاتون رکن کے ساتھ الجھ گیے. خاتون ان کی ساتھی قانون ساز تھیں. کہنے لگے ” میں جانتا ہوں تم کہاں سے آئی ہو. تم موت کے کنویں میں ناچنے والی عورتیں ہو. مجھے پتا ہے تم لوگوں کی اصلیت کیا ہے” چودہری صاحب نے اور بھی بڑی بڑی باتیں کیں اور کہا کے وہ سب جانتے ہیں کون کیا کرتی ہے. چودھرے صاحب کے ساتھ بیٹھےداڑھی والے صاحب، عورتوں کی اس “اصلیت کے انکشاف” پر اپنی خوشی کو کابو میں نا لا سکے اور زور زور سے تالی بجانے لگے.

چودھری صاحب کی بات سے مجھے وہ جرنلسٹ بھائی یاد آیے جن سے ایک دفع میری بحث ہو گئ. میں نے کہیں لکھ دیا کے امریکا میں عورتوں کی بڑی عزت کرتے ہیں. انکو اتنا غصہ آیا کے مجھے نا سمجھ کہا اور کہنے لگے کےہمارے ملک میں عورت کی بوھت عزت ہے . خاص طور پر جیسے جیسے عورت کی عمر زیادہ ہوتی ہے ، اس کی عزت بھی بڑھتی جاتی ہے. ہم تو اپنی ماں بہن کی بوھت ہی عزت کرتے ہیں. این گوروں کو کیا پتا عزت کیا ہوتی ہے. میں نے کہا، “بھائی آپ تو اپنی ماں بہن کی بوھت عزت کرتے ہیں مگر وہ گلی کے کونے میں کھڑا لڑکا ان کو چھیڑتا ہے .” اور بلکل یہی ہی بات ہے. پاکستان میں رشتوں کی عزت کی جاتی ہے مگر عورت کی کوئی عزت نہیں کی جاتی.

اصل بات یہی ہے کے بوھت سارے پاکستانیوں کو یہ پتا نہیں کے عورت کی عزت کرنے کا کیا مطلب ہے. اب آپ چودہرے علاؤ دین کی ہے مثال لے لیں. بات صرف یہی نہیں کے انہوں نے اسمبلی کی عورتوں کی بے عزتی کرنے کی کوشش کی، بات یہ ہے کے جن معاشروں میں عورت کی عزت کرتے ہیں، ان معاشروں میں ڈانس کرنے والی عورتوں کی بھی عزت کی جاتی ہے. عورت اگر ڈانس کرنے والی بھی ہو، تو کوئی چیخ چیخ کر یہ نہیں کہتا، “او ڈانس کرنے والی.” امریکا اور دوسرے یورپی ملکوں میں تو طوائف کو بھی عزت دی جاتی ہے اور اس کے بھی حقوک ہوتے ہیں.

پاکستان میں، خاص کر چھوٹے شہروں میں تو کوئی عورت یا لڑکی گھر سےاکیلی باھر جا ہی نہیں سکتی . ہمیشہ بھائی یا باپ کو ساتھ جانا پڑتا ہے. گلی کے لڑکے آوازیں لگاتے ہیں. گلی میں چلنا مشکل کر دیتے ہیں اور کبھی کبھی تو کوئی بڑا ہی بزدل لڑکا دوپٹہ کیچنے کی کوشش بھی کرتا ہے. عزت تو وہ صرف اپنی ماں بہن کی ہے کرتے ہیں. چاہے سات تہیں بھی پہن لو، برقع پہن لو، چھیڑیں گے ضرور. اور یہاں امریکا میں جو مرضی پہنو، کسی کے مجال نہیں کے آپ کو کچھ کہے. آپ پوری آزادی سے پھر سکتے ہیں .

پاکستان میں تو میں یہی سمجھتی تھی کہ یہی زندگی گزارنے کا سہی طریقہ ہے کہ گھر میں رہو یا بھائی کے ساتھ باھر جاؤ. اب یہاںامریکا رہ کر پتا چلا کے عورتیں بھی انسان ہیں اور ان کو بھی سڑکوں پر چلنے کی پوری آزادی کسی خوف خطرے کے بغیر ملنی چاہیے. اور معاشرے کے ساری عورتوں کی عزت ہو. اپ کی بہن کی بھی اور کسی دوسرے کی بہن کی بھی جو کے سڑک پر اکیلے جا رہی ھے. ہر قسم کی عورت کی عزت ہو، ڈاکٹر عورت کی بھی اور مزدور عورت کی بھی. ناچنے والی کی بھی عزت کی جایے اور بنک میں کم کرنے والی کی بھی. آپ عزت پر شرطیں نہیں لگا سکتے. اگر نقاب لو گی تو عزت کریں گے. اگر دوپٹے کے بغر نکلو تو عزت نہ ملے گی. امیر عورت سے دب کے کچھ نا کہیں گے اور مڈل کلاس کی لڑکی پر آواز لگانی ہے. یہ سارے غلط طور طریکے ہیں. یہ بات کے کسی عورت کی بے عزتی کرنی ہو تو اسے ناچنے والی کہو ، یہ بڑی ہی جہالت کی بات ہے. اس لئےکہ آپ یہ کہ رہے ہیں کے ناچنے والی بری ہیں. ناچنے والے لوگ فنکار ہیں اور ان کی عزت اور پیار ہی کرنا چاہیے .

اگر انڈیا والے اپنی کترینا کی عزت کرتے ہیں تو ہم اپنی دلدار کی عزت کیوں نہیں کر سکتے. اور ناچنے والے دیکھنے والوں سے برے کیسے ہو گیے ؟ اگر میں آپ کو سو روپے دوں ناچنے کے اور پھر خود اچھی بن جاؤں، تو یہ کہاں کا انصاف ہے. مزے کی بات ہے کے وہی کام پیسے والی اور انگرزی بولنے والی کرے تو اس کی عزت ہے. وہ راک ستارہ ہے. .جیسا کے میں نے کہا، پاکستان میں عورت کی عزت نھی. یا تو رشتوں کی ہے اور یا پھر پیسے کی. افسوس کی بات یہ ہے کے پاکستان مسلم لیگ نوں کی عورتوں نے چودھرے علا ہ و دین کا ساتھ دیا اور ان عورتوں کا نہیں جن کو چودھرے نے ناچنے والی کہا. یہ بھی پاکستان کے کلچر کی بڑی ہی گندی بات ہے کہ زیادہ عورتیں ایک دوسرے کی بے عزتی پرخوش ہوتی ہیں. مگر پھر آخر ایک دن آ ہی جاتا ہے جب کوئی ان کو ناچنے والی یا طوائف کہ کر بلاتا ہے.

جب تک پاکستانی عورتیں ایک دوسرے کی عزت نہیں کریں گی. پاکستانی مرد ان کی عزت نہیں کریں گے


16 responses to “Pakistan doesn’t respect women – by Dr Shazia Nawaz”

  1. What about your favorite nations India and America? lets explore some facts below:

    Somewhere in America, a woman is raped every 2 minutes, according to the U.S. Department of Justice.

    In 1995, 354,670 women were the victims of a rape or sexual assault. (NationalCrime Victimization Survey. Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Department of Justice, 1996.)

    The FBI estimates that 72 of every 100,000 females in the United States were raped in 1996. (Federal Bureau of Investigation, Uniform Crime Statistics, 1996.)

    CBS News: Nearly 90,000 women reported they were raped in the United States last year. It’s estimated another 75,000 rapes went unreported. But while rape convictions are up – a five month CBS News investigation raises questions about just how many rapists are actually being brought to justice.

  2. LIVING IN FEAR :

    According to the U.S. Department of Justice: (All statistics are taken from: Violenceagainst Women, Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Dept. of Justice, 1994.)

    One of every four rapes take place in a public area or in a parking garage.

    31% of female victims reported that the offender was a stranger.

    68% of rapes occur between the hours of 6 p.m. and 6 a.m.

    At least 45% of rapists were under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

    In 29% of rapes, the offender used a weapon.

    In 47% of rapes, the victim sustained injuries other than rape injuries.

    75% of female rape victims require medical care after the attack.

  3. Dear Author!!!
    1- How do you generalize that incident upon whole nation?
    2- Which society is exempted from mischievous people….name only one?
    3- Raping a girl is the biggest dis-respect for a woman….what do you say about it?
    4- You are wrong, no one respects Prostitutes and Strip Teasers in west too, if there would be any…..they would not be calling them sluts, bitches and whores. You see having respect is something different from having RIGHTS.
    5- You mean west respects even a hooker too? One hires a hooker and took her to the place and then they both read Bible. Right?
    6- If no one call them sluts and whores besides whatever and no matter how short dress they wear!!!! even hot pants…..You are again wrong…..If anyone talks to them nasty or not…….but every and each person thinks about them as sluts. They may not say this on her face. BTW why all sophisticated and highly educated women dont wear hot pants or short skirts?
    7- So you mean women are not teased, groped and touched in west……do I have to paste youtube links here?
    8- So making porn videos are not disrespect of women?
    9- I have gone through a page, where people share there wife’s home made porn videos and pics…..so this seems to be respectful towards women?
    10- Having sex publicly either legal or illegal, seems respect?

    Besides I am not favoring here that parliamentarian’s derogatory comments here.

    Some people who watch westerner culture, get bursted out against their own….Have you ever ponder about the evils in western culture? Yeah we are not perfect, but neither they are!!!

  4. Hi Dr.Shazia, You are not wrong . But It’s not the problem of only Pakistan, same happens here in India. I think it is the problem of our sub-continent. Some of our political leaders have commented on dressing culture of girls. Our ‘Panchayats’ have ordered to girls, not to wear jeans, don’t go outside without brother,husband,father etc. In Hariyana, just few days ago, a Sarpanch( Chief of village Panchayat) from village of Hariyana gave a very ridiculous reason behind the increasing rate of rape cases, is chow mien. He said because of it’s spicy taste, it provokes the male. One of cabinet minister of Rajasthan, is in jail because of sex,kidnapping and murder of a nurse. His MMS was telecast ed on news channels. When journalists asked about it to his wife, she replied- It is common in royals. ‘Ye to Rajao-Nawabo ke jamaane se hota chala aa raha hai. One and half decade ago, a girl was gang raped in a boys hostel. All those culprits belonged to an influential cast which still dominate in some area. When this case was bought in Rajasthan Assembly, the M.L.A. of that cast put up the questions on the charterer of victim. Same happened in the case of that Minister. Neither Ruling Party nor Opposition Party took much interest in this case just because of Vote Bank. Last year in Orissa, a girl was raped and attempted to be murdered because she was eye witness of rape of her friend who later committed suicide because culprits were worker of local M.L.A. and cabinet minister in the state. This girl was going to court to give her statement. She was threatened not only by criminals but also by Local Police Inspector.
    I have no Idea why it happens ? I think they(who are involved in teasing,rape) must be severely punished publicly as in China, Saudi Arabia to teach lessons to those who don’t have respect for women. Either castration or capital punishment is the only solution for it.

  5. Excellent article, Dr Shazia Nawaz! Don’t pay any attention to the negative remarks in comments. It is true that women need more respect in Pakistan and India; It is also true that women are respected more in the West, in fact, men risk getting arrested if they harass women on the streets in the U.S.

    Belching out statistics about the crimes on women (every society has crime, and every society has crimes on men and women) prove nothing more than there are male jerks everywhere, and we have them in the U.S. as well. But, considering our approximately 312,000,000 population, 157.0 million of whom are females, our statistics for women’s rights and women’s saftey in the U.S. are high compared to any country. Women here generally feel safe due to our relatively high law and order. Women in the United States typically do not get teased, groped, touched, and yelled at on the streets, regardless of what they wear. And if they are, there are men and/or women who would come to their defense more likely than not.

  6. Dr Shazia Nawaz sahiba

    whatever our qoum acts . . .

    we chose 2 times ” Orat zaat ” as our head . of course masses not by only single party

    now we have Speaker of NA . . again by masses directly or indirectly what you say its your choice . . .

    well educated Pakistani turned any time at any place harsh towards ” orat zaat ” . . . Vice Versa also . .

    if you are using social sites then you must familiar with daily conversations no need to mention 😛

  7. معذرت کے ساتھ مگر بڑی عجیب و غریب خاتون ہیں یہ، ہر وقت کسی نا کسی پر تنقید کرتی رہتی ہیں، کبھی میں نے ان سے کوئی اصلاح کی بات نہیں سُنی۔

    بات بھی ایسی کرتی ہیں جس کا نہ کوئی سر نا کوئی پیر

  8. ap kese keh sakti ha k pakistan ma women ki respect nhi har jaga achay buray log mojood hai jb allah ne ek hath ki 5 ungliya barabar nhi banai to ap insano ko ek jaga kese dekh sakti hai agr respect dekhni hai to all over visit kare

  9. all those bashing Dr Shazia

    just compare

    a woman can travel all alone in the market wearing shorts in USA without a hitch, she can travel in the train , bus and go to the office

    in pakistan(and india) it doesnt matter if she is covered head to toe, or is old, or young or anything
    she shall receive contant stares and oggling, remarks or even teasing

    lot of girls in our region are not able to do graduation or even basic schooling after a certain age because the college is situated at a distance and they are forced to cross the area filled with these”respectful”(read sarcasm) men of high hounors

  10. awxme article!! Dr Shazia Nawaz! Don’t pay attention to the negative remarks in comments n keep on writing 🙂
    A woman is not an object. She is not something; she is someone. You treat a woman with respect. She is not your toy. She doesnt owe you anything just cause you are a man. When she come to you for comfort, you listen to her; you dont make a move on her. Grow up and start treating women how they deserve to be treated.

  11. awxme article!! Dr Shazia Nawaz! Don’t pay attention to the negative remarks in comments n keep on writing
    A woman is not an object. She is not something; she is someone. You treat a woman with respect. She is not your toy. She doesnt owe you anything just cause you are a man. When she come to you for comfort, you listen to her; you dont make a move on her. Grow up and start treating women how they deserve to be treated.

  12. Get a life Dr. Shazia.

    Im a guy and fairly attractive. I swear to God I have women look at me with lusty eyes all the time. Stranger women sometimes pass me the smiles that sometimes confuse me. I have more women flirting with me then u have men in this way. So probably its not a gender thing, its more of a human thing. Im not endorsing such behavior from men Im just saying I have such experiences with women in this regard equally.