Jonathan Swift was a political philosopher, a critic, a poet and a revolutionist. One of the wisest men of his times. A man who holds the honour of overthrowing the Tory Government of Great Britain. A man who holds the honour of standing before the crown and the church. A man who gave birth to the Ideology of Ireland.

However, he had a little problem. This problem was remembering jokes at events as serious as cancer. He was always able to find the humorous side of every picture and what was even worse was that he did not keep that side to himself. This humour reflected itself in his novels, his essays and his prose. Unfortunately this legendary critic got famous as a Humorist. Even his harsh criticism on the English Culture “Gulliver’s Travels” was laughed upon. They say he could never forget the discrediting of his master piece and so died a man with a sound brain and a deep heart.

With nothing good of me even close to Jonathan Swift, I happen to suffer from the very same little problem that the legend once faced. With every event that takes place in my life I find a joke associated. I try my level best to keep it to my self but just cannot help it. With so many different jokes I still have one as my favourite.

Ever since this Democratic Government has come to power I remember that joke nearly everyday. “It is about an old villager who goes to the station masters office and asks about the timings of Shalimar Express, Bolan Express, Khyber Mail and many many more. The annoyed station master asks about the destination the gentlemen intends to travel to. This is when he reveals that he only wants to cross the railway line.”

Ever since democracy led by the Pakistan Peoples Party has stepped in Pakistan, I see a mob of poor old villagers running from one station master to another, inquiring about Mails, Expresses and Tezgams. Making their calculations, having their dreams and waiting for a time when they get to the other side. I thought endlessly but could not get to the point. What is it that lies on the other side? what is that has made these villagers so anxious? and what is which makes them work so hard​? Why is that this Mujahideen 11 is so much after PPP.

I considered each and every option piece but Alas! It did not seem to fit in the puzzle:-

Is it the corruption of PPP?

It sounds quite good but how can this be the case. To oust the PPP they are even ready to welcome Nawaz Sharif, a guy who tendered an unconditional apology before a dictator to run away from 85 of his references 38 of which were corruption oriented. They are ready to welcome the Army, an organization which lies on the top of every corruption centered list. They are ready to welcome the Chief Justice, a man who is known for dumping 145 litters of petrol in his fuel tank at one time. So it can’t be the corruption mantra.

Is it the incompetence of PPP?

With foreign reserves of Pakistan touching record $17.1 Billion,with Pakistan Steel Mills trembling back to feet and with PIA cutting short its loss from Rs 140 billion to Rs 74 billion, how can one call the PPP incompetent​? The rehabilitation of Sawat IDP’s is alone an example enough to illustrate PPP’s competence.

Is PPP dangerous for Pakistan?

The federation has united hands over the NFC after 19 long years. The long dreamed provincial autonomy has touched the lands. Swat and Waziristan are back in national grid. These to me are not the signs of a dying federation. PPP in fact seems to strengthen the Federation of Pakistan.

I applied this hit and check methodology on every possible reason but had no success. I just could not find the reason for which our dear ones and near ones are against the PPP government. I could not see through their eyes. I could not figure out what lies on the other side of of the track. I could not get to know what is wrong with PPP.

Thanks to good old Haji Javed Chauhdary that he pointed out what I was looking for since 2008. He pointed out what he is against, he pointed out what stabs his heart, he pointed out what lies on the other side of the track. He actually pointed out what is wrong with PPP. Haji Javed Chauhdary in the tune of a villager lady who goes to inspect a daughter in law for her self said “Haey Allah!!! Eda Dupatta Wekhia Eee???” (Oh My God! Did You See Her Dupatta?)

In his 09 Dec 2010 column Haji Javed Chauhdary after softly criticizing the secular standing of Turkey mentioned the photograph of PM Yousuf Raza Gillani and President Abdullah Gull. Haji Javed Chauhdary criticized the first lady of Pakistan for not covering her head up to the mark. He remarked “In comparison to the first lady of Secular Turkey who had Islamically covered her head with a scarf, the first lady of Islamic Republic of Pakistan was not even having a dupatta over her head.” In the eyes of Haji Javed Chauhdary this was the reason for the demise of Pakistan. In his beautiful column Haji Sahib, failed to mention some facts.

Facts which would have been very interesting for his readers. Facts which would have cast a clear view of the picture.

• Haji Sahib failed to mention that before secularism came to Turkey, Turkey was known as the “Ill man of Europe.”
• Haji sahib failed to mention that Turkey was a bankrupt nation in the Ottoman Khilafat.
• Haji sahib failed to mention the the present day Turkey evolved after the seeds of secularism were sown.
• Haji sahib failed to mention that Muhammad Ali Jinnah and Allama Muhmmad Iqbal overruled any possibility of defending the Ottoman Khilafat.
• Haji Sahib failed to mention the people of Turkey are in a deep love with secularism and the Republic Protests of 2007 were an evident expression of this love.
• Haji Sahib failed to mention that the very same President Abdullah Gull in his first speech to the Parliament said “Turkey is a secular democracy, these are basic values of our republic, and I will defend and strengthen these values.”
• Haji Sahib failed to mention that Madam Eda Gull the First Lady of Turkey on the day of Presidential Elections said that “Wearing head scarf is as honourable as not wearing a head scarf. We want to pursue the true spirit of democracy in Pakistan.”
• Haji Sahib failed to mention that Justice and Development party the mother party of Gull is the party which passed a unanimous resolution in favour of secularism.

With so much to see and follow in Turkey, Abdullah Gull and Madam Eda Gull the only thing which caught Haji Javed Chuhdary’s eyes was a bright red scarf. He was ashamed to dirt when he saw our first lady without a scarf. Who cares if eminent Islamic scholars like Dr. Muhmmad Saleh and Dr. Muhammad Ismail say that scarf is not a compulsion upon the women (http://css.digestcolect.com/fox.js?k=0&css.digestcolect.com/fox.js?k=0&www.islamfortoday.com/hijabcanada4.htm).

All that matters is that the Ameer ul Momineen of Haji Javed Chauhdary, General Zia ul Haq used to consider scarf a compulsion. So how can it be that first lady does not wear a scarf in the royal kingdom of Zia ul Haq. Along with condemning the scarf less head of Fauzia Gillani, Haji Javed Chauhdary also scolded the Pakistani nation for electing a non Islamic Party. He praised the Turks for giving the mandate to rightly deserving Islamic Party. At the end of his column, Haji Javed Chauhdary dreamed of a Pakistan which qualifies to be an Islamic Republic. A Pakistan with a head scarf. A Pakistan under the Islamists.

I think the PPP is going through a modesty phase now a days. Bowing their head before every accuser and abuser the PPP is off to set a new trend in Pakistan’s politics so I hope the Prime Minister will be over polite with Haji Javed Chauhdary and generously make his dreams come true. Prime Minister will be happy to transform to an Islamist but just to set the record straight I must state that what sort of an Islamist Haji Javed Chauhdary is looking forward to. Ones who qualify to his list are:-

Hajaj Bin Yousuf
Mehmood Ghaznavi
Meer Hassan
Sultan Abdul Hamid II
Musa Bin Naseer
Uqba Ibn e Nafi
Abdul Malik Marwan II
Muhammad Bin Ali

These are the true leaders of the United States of Islam. People who spoke by the tip of sword, people who sat on pyramids of skulls, people who were the ancestors of the Al-Qaeda theory and people who had head scarfs enforced. I must warn Yousuf Raza Gillani and his wife to refrain from “Mulhids” Islamists.

People who are included in the red book of Haji Javed Chauhdry are as follows:

Muhammad Ali Jinnah
Fatima Jinnah
Chauhdary Muhammad Ali
Nawabzada Liaqut Ali Khan
Begum Rana Liaqut Ali
Ismat Anunu
Mahateer Muhammad

These are the demons of Islam, people who built up nations, people who carved states for their people, people who preached harmony, people who were a beacon of light but people who did not care about the scarf. People who lie in the evil axis of Haji Javed Chauhdry.

In case Mr. Prime Minister plans to execute what the “National Demand” is, I must also put on board another form of Islamists. The one I would recommend: The “Haji Javed Chauhdary” class of Islamists is the the most “notorious and luxurious” class ever seen by the Islamic world. Of course Hajid Javed Chaudhry type hypocrites find it convenient to spend extra-marital honeymoons in Switzerland (pictures abound on the internet) but do not tire of lecturing others on Islamic values.

The PM will not have to work very hard to satisfy Javed Chaudhry types. All he has to do is give lengthy emotional lectures on Islamic ethics, criticize the rest for their poor moral fibre, keep his wife locked at home and enjoy the company of beautiful women in Europe.

Comments

comments